Sabotage! – Not just a cool Beastie Boys song anymore

I’m in a wedding party today. I’ve known I would be in a wedding party today for almost a year. I bought my dress months ago. When I bought the dress, I knew it was a snug fit. It fit, but there was not a lot of room for misbehaviour. When I tried the dress on last week it still fit, but there was even less room for misbehaviour. So, you would think that this would mean nothing but crossfit, paleo and fizzy water for a week. And in a logical world, it probably does. There are people out there for whom this would not be a problem.

Apparently, for me, the impending crisis of possibly not fitting into my dress, means a week-long bender of Bread, Booze and bad health behaviours. I think that apart from two very epic travel wods, I have done absolutely nothing that makes any sense this week. I have been shoveling (rather lovely) Spanish food into my mouth at an alarming rate. Unless I am expecting triplets that I am not aware of, there is no justification for my current 15 meals a day regimen. I don’t know what happens when I travel, but it seems like I consider it a justified hiatus from all of the healthy things I do for my body when I am at home. It’s like I think my body won’t notice….trust me, it does. I currently look and feel like what I imagine the inside of a beluga whale looks like. In fact, because I don’t have a tan right now, I may just look like a beluga whale.

While this is most likely not true, this is how I feel so it might as well be true. Which is awful. As bad as what I am putting into my body is what I am doing to myself in my head. If Coach Dan were here, I would be doing “Negative Self-Talk Sprints” all day. (If Coach Dan catches you being negative to yourself at the Box he makes you do 200m sprints until you sort your shit out. – true story, it happened to my friend Natalie J).

It’s too late now to undo the damage that I have done to my body this week and to my self-esteem. But improving how I travel will be on my list of things to do… but not today, today, I will eat and drink too much and celebrate my friend’s wedding to the love of her life because, contrary to popular opinion, it’s not all about me.

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